Murtha For the Blogosphere

December 12th, 2005

From the desk of Congressman John Murtha, proudly serving Pennsylvania's 12th District:

It would appear that conservatives have invaded Gun-Totin' Liberal. In fact, based on the complaints of those on the Left, who I've heard from each and every day, there appears to be little difference between those on the Right and the Zarqawi terrorists of Iraq. They have apparently "taken over" the site, leaving poor 'ole GTL with a very conservative site upon his return, despite the best efforts of those on the Left to fight back.

It would appear the Leftward contributors to GTL have become targets for conservative bloggers and readers, to such an extent that it is increasingly impossible for the Left contributors to complete their mission. In fact, according to one of the leaders on the Left, " The idea that we can actually win at GTL is just plain wrong." He went on to compare Gun-Totin' Liberal to a bloggish quaqmire, repeating the word Vietnam many times throughout his statement.

Since those contributors on the Left, and their readers, feel threatened, indeed terrorized, by the evil conservative insurgents in their midst, I would recommend the following strategy:

That all liberal bloggers leave immediately, in an orderly fashion, but as quickly as possible. This would decrease the chances of taking hits from well known conservative insurgents like Republican Vet.

That a quick reaction force of elite leftward bloggers be established to maintain a token "presence on GTL.

That an "over the horizon" force of leftward bloggers be established on friendly blogs, like Daily Kos, or Wonkette . This elite force could monitor the situation on GTL, and be ready to HALOscan in to make surgical comments on key posts, while still maintaining enough distance to keep from actually having to confront the Conservative insurgents.

And finally, that a group of leftward bloggers open diplomatic negotiations with the conservative insurgents of Gun-Totin' Liberal, seeking a solution to the ongoing rightward tilt of the site.

Hope this strategy helps the brave bloggers of the Left on GTL. It's the best strategy we of the Democrat Party have been able to come up with.

Sincerely,
John "Jack" Murtha (who served in Vietnam)
With input from Chairman Howard Dean, Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, and former Presidential John Kerry (who served in Vietnam).

---cross posted at Gun-Totin' Liberal